Following last weeks poem in Citywide by Old Mutual Wealth CEO Paul Feeney, I thought i’d have a go at some slightly satirical and probably very poor poetry! 

With sincere apologies to Charles Mackay!

The headlong twit that wants to transact,

Their Gold and silver coins for shares like Whatsapp,

May speculate by all means with the help of Goldman Sachs,

And open their stock accounts to be ransacked.

The den of thieves has no wares,

So they bluff and bluster about questionable shares,

Andrew Jackson was wrong, there will be no rout,

Belief in Central banks we are all devout.

Don’t worry retirees about the lack of yield,

You can eat all your capital and then live in a field,

There’s still plenty around, more greenery than property,

Screw our kids; let them inherit our debts in poverty.

We used to rule our cousins and now Obama preaches,

Back of the line! While Cameron drops his breeches.

Don’t worry little Englanders we’ll be saved by Draghi,

And can spend our lives speaking German, wearing Armani.

It’s not money anymore, now we all have wealth,

And it’s being professionally managed, should I say stolen by stealth.

Back to the day job of number crunching and report writing . . .